My husband has a new BFF; the red-headed girl at the lab at Mercy Hospital! She has seen him so many times in the past 12 weeks that she immediately recognizes him. She even stayed late one day last week because she knew we had to travel to get to her. What a blessing! Between Mercy and University of Cincinnati, he has had many various scans and we have met several new doctors since our original cardiologist. He now has an advanced heart failure specialist, an electrophysiologist, and a pulmonologist. They are all awesome doctors and we are so very thankful for being led to them.
If I'm being honest, mornings are hard for me. That is when my mind races to the "what-if's". What if he doesn't get better; what if he is never able to go back to work; what if his disability is denied; what if our medical bills drown us; what if both of us die; what if our son has inherited either or both of our heart disorders? My stress level is high and it catches up with me.
Once I get out of bed and get my head on straight, I know that God will see us through, as He always has. So so so many friends have reached out to us and check on us regularly. Many of them have sent meals and finances. Co-workers have sent funds. Neighbors have brought over meals. Family members have provided food and finances as well as checked on us. The calls and texts mean so much. We are beyond blessed with support.
2020 has brought loss to so many people; we lost a dear friend to cancer on January 9. In a few days, there will come a very tough anniversary for her husband and kids. Many lost jobs, health, friends, mental health strides, recovery advances, and so on. We could dwell on the losses and we should definitely acknowledge them. We should cry with those that cry. But I am no longer afraid of the truth. As I read somewhere, "Fear does not stop death; but it does stop life" Every time we see a new doctor we want to know and understand the truth he or she can give us. We can handle the truth! The reason we can handle the truth is because we know that the truth sets us free. We are free to trust God to handle anything that happens. He has our days ordered and He cares about every single moment of our lives.
With a high probability that my husband has cardiac sarcoidosis, he is now on 8 different medications. We are praying for very few side effects, if any. He is getting stronger and sleeping better and eating better. We are so thankful for being led every step of the way by God and the wisdom He has given those who are helping us along this journey. Tomorrow begins 2021 and so we journey on, being thankful for what God has already done for us and confident in the future.
