Yes, I know the Bible talks about dreams and visions given to "old men, young men, etc.". What I am speaking of here is when God gives YOU something personal just for your life, not for anyone else. It happened to me over 15 years ago. Living in a rental apartment, having lost my house in a very ugly, messy divorce (is there any other kind?) and wondering just who loved me, who was my friend and who wasn't, what my future would look like, etc. etc. I was at a very low point in my life. Though it was hard to believe it, I felt like God was showing me my future. It was a vision of a little modest home in a neighborhood, with a decent sized kitchen (nothing like the apartment), a back door, and a great window to see outside in the yard (again, not like an apartment). My child(ren) could come in from outside playing in their yard and perhaps bring their friends in for Kool-Aid. You know, just like the commercials...hahaha It was very similar to the home I had grown up in as a child. Honestly, I thought to myself, "by the time we get out a rental, my child will be grown....and besides I see no way I will ever be able to own a home again. For goodness sake, my child right now can't even safely ride her bike in the parking lot and I worry about the weirdos around here! I truly didn't see why God was giving me this "dream" of the future but I held onto it. I kept that "vision" in the back of my mind for many years. Little did I know how God would fulfill it.
Just this morning I was standing at my kitchen counter making my mom's coleslaw recipe and looked out through the row of windows and back door(s), at the beautiful yard and God brought that "vision" back to my mind. He definitely has fulfilled the dream He gave me. A new child now plays in that yard and comes in hot and thirsty for Kool-Aid. Did I think that along the way to this new life I would end up with dilated cardiomyopathy? Of course not. I hadn't even heard of it 15 years ago. But do I thank God for the "valleys and the mountains and the things He brought me through"? You bet I do! You take the "good" with the "bad" and you trust God every day because He always has your best in mind. Hold onto your dreams and visions. God has it all under control.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Recap and a little May miracle
Every Christian has a “Kingdom Assignment”. This is mine. I was asked to share this story with my church family on Mother’s Day this year:
The Kingdom Assignment I am currently dealing with is a physical disease. In January 2011 I was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy. This means that my heart muscle is weak and enlarged. It does not have enough strength to pump blood to the rest of my body. One of the tests done measured my “ejection fraction”, which should typically be 55-70%. Mine was 10-15%. So I was in heart failure. I was immediately started on several medications which alleviated all of my symptoms. I was sad and angry to be told that I would be on these medications for the rest of my life. I did research on-line and the more I learned, the more discouraged I became. So many people with this disease seemed to no longer be able to work and were not getting any better. I thought, surely this isn’t the end of my life. I have a young son; I have people I need to talk to about You, God, and also people I haven’t even met yet. But during my tests I have met some wonderful people at hospitals and doctor’s offices and have also gained a sense of empathy for senior citizens who I watch struggle just to get into their appointments.
Many prayers were said for me and sometime in July two beautiful ladies here at Eastgate Community Church prayed for my healing again. I was to meet with an electro physiologist in August and I convinced him to do yet another echocardiogram because I felt that my heart was healed and I did not need a pacemaker/defibrillator. However, the test showed absolutely no improvement. So on Sept. 2, 2011 I had the device installed. It was about 8 weeks before I was completely pain free and felt back to normal. During the recovery, some days I questioned the decision and again was angry that my life was being disrupted. But in December I started this blog because I wanted to encourage newly diagnosed people, especially women, because I had only read negative reports when I did my research. Only God knows who this blog may reach with encouragement and hope.
Fast track to Friday morning May 3rd - I could not sleep and was feeling poorly. My husband was praying for me because I had been in Stage 3 heart failure for about 10 days. My cardiologist has increased my medications on Tuesday and said if that did not help I would need to see another heart failure specialist. Too much caffeine that day added to my problems falling asleep but I felt different than ever before. I took 2 aspirin because I thought perhaps I was having a heart attack. My left foot became numb and then the numbness traveled up my left side and even my throat felt tight. My chest felt very heavy and I felt like I would probably die. By now it was close to 2 a.m. and my husband and I began praying again. I knew that there were still things I needed to do – God had already spoken to me about having a heart to heart talk about Him this summer with someone very close to me. I reminded God that this plan was already posted on my refrigerator door. I also reminded him that I still had a little boy at home that needed his mother. Then I took authority over the disease and quoted Psalm 118:17 - “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord” My husband was agreeing with me the whole time. I prayed in the Sprit; I pleaded the blood of Christ, and prayed for myself like I never had before. About 3 a.m. I felt the peace of God pass over me and told my husband to go to sleep and I went to the living room and read Psalms 1-28. By 4 a.m. I felt completely fine and dog tired. I slept like a baby and have been feeling good ever since. I know that wisdom says we should have called 911, but my grandbaby was coming that weekend and I didn’t want to be in the hospital and miss her. More importantly though, and my husband and I talked about this later, we knew it was a desperate situation and we just didn’t have time for 911. We needed help right then! Only God is able to help you in your desperate moments. In my heart I know that He was there for me and He will continue to bring me through this Kingdom Assignment and use it for His glory.
The Kingdom Assignment I am currently dealing with is a physical disease. In January 2011 I was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy. This means that my heart muscle is weak and enlarged. It does not have enough strength to pump blood to the rest of my body. One of the tests done measured my “ejection fraction”, which should typically be 55-70%. Mine was 10-15%. So I was in heart failure. I was immediately started on several medications which alleviated all of my symptoms. I was sad and angry to be told that I would be on these medications for the rest of my life. I did research on-line and the more I learned, the more discouraged I became. So many people with this disease seemed to no longer be able to work and were not getting any better. I thought, surely this isn’t the end of my life. I have a young son; I have people I need to talk to about You, God, and also people I haven’t even met yet. But during my tests I have met some wonderful people at hospitals and doctor’s offices and have also gained a sense of empathy for senior citizens who I watch struggle just to get into their appointments.
Many prayers were said for me and sometime in July two beautiful ladies here at Eastgate Community Church prayed for my healing again. I was to meet with an electro physiologist in August and I convinced him to do yet another echocardiogram because I felt that my heart was healed and I did not need a pacemaker/defibrillator. However, the test showed absolutely no improvement. So on Sept. 2, 2011 I had the device installed. It was about 8 weeks before I was completely pain free and felt back to normal. During the recovery, some days I questioned the decision and again was angry that my life was being disrupted. But in December I started this blog because I wanted to encourage newly diagnosed people, especially women, because I had only read negative reports when I did my research. Only God knows who this blog may reach with encouragement and hope.
Fast track to Friday morning May 3rd - I could not sleep and was feeling poorly. My husband was praying for me because I had been in Stage 3 heart failure for about 10 days. My cardiologist has increased my medications on Tuesday and said if that did not help I would need to see another heart failure specialist. Too much caffeine that day added to my problems falling asleep but I felt different than ever before. I took 2 aspirin because I thought perhaps I was having a heart attack. My left foot became numb and then the numbness traveled up my left side and even my throat felt tight. My chest felt very heavy and I felt like I would probably die. By now it was close to 2 a.m. and my husband and I began praying again. I knew that there were still things I needed to do – God had already spoken to me about having a heart to heart talk about Him this summer with someone very close to me. I reminded God that this plan was already posted on my refrigerator door. I also reminded him that I still had a little boy at home that needed his mother. Then I took authority over the disease and quoted Psalm 118:17 - “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord” My husband was agreeing with me the whole time. I prayed in the Sprit; I pleaded the blood of Christ, and prayed for myself like I never had before. About 3 a.m. I felt the peace of God pass over me and told my husband to go to sleep and I went to the living room and read Psalms 1-28. By 4 a.m. I felt completely fine and dog tired. I slept like a baby and have been feeling good ever since. I know that wisdom says we should have called 911, but my grandbaby was coming that weekend and I didn’t want to be in the hospital and miss her. More importantly though, and my husband and I talked about this later, we knew it was a desperate situation and we just didn’t have time for 911. We needed help right then! Only God is able to help you in your desperate moments. In my heart I know that He was there for me and He will continue to bring me through this Kingdom Assignment and use it for His glory.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)