Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Little Boys and Conversation

This post has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with dilated cardiomyopathy.  But because I have a little boy, and some of my best friends have sons or grandsons, I am particularly aware of them and when I hear a story about one, it just melts me.  Just call me a softee.  I know that sometimes I can be seemingly callous but my little boy just grabs my heart.  So....this morning on the radio the female DJ was giving advice she heard about how to get your kids to talk/share with you.  Like her, I am always so guilty of firing questions as soon as I pick him up from his school day.  How was school?  Did you go to the library?  Did you have gym, art, etc. etc.?  Did you like/eat your lunch?  Did you play football at recess?  Did you even go outside? Did anyone notice your new haircut/shoes/pants?  Oh my, it is ridiculous how I needle the kid.  He ALWAYS clams up.  Wouldn't you?  Well, the DJ said to STOP with the interrogation and just let your child naturally begin a conversation at his leisure.  Just make times to be alone with them, quiet - perhaps when you're preparing dinner or doing dishes.  Let them know that they will have your attention if they want to talk.  She did this a couple of days ago and her 9 year old took her up on the offer.  He said, "Mom, am I weird?"  Wow, how is that for a conversation-starter?  Of course, her mind went crazy thinking he was being bullied or something awful.  But she kept her fears to herself and simply said, "No, you are not weird.  Is there a reason you asked me that?"  He began to tell her how some of the children on the bus said he was weird because his hat was funny.  She assured him he was not weird and they had a good talk about different tastes in clothing, etc.  OK, at this point I started crying on the way to work (see, I told you I am a softee) thinking how this must have been bothering this little guy for several days and he finally got a chance to talk to his mom about it.  My new goal is to just SHUT UP and wait for my own little guy to open up to me.  We as parents (well me, anyway) almost DEMAND that our kids tell us what is going on in their lives and we stop the flow of information.  The DJ, Amy, really taught me something today.  Perhaps this will even work on my "big girl".  Who knows?  It's worth a shot.  I'm going to try this and I pray I can do better just waiting for my kids to start the conversations in the future.

To your health,